LIVE LAUGH LOVE

By My Side - David Choi - Official Music Video - Wong Fu Productions

2011-07-11T22:10:00.000+08:00

I find myself back at blogger at the end of the day.

2010-07-24T23:40:00.002+08:00

It’s ok. It’s ok to want someone you can’t have. It’s ok to keep friendships when you don’t want them, or want something more. It’s ok to cry when your hurt, and it’s ok to stay mad at someone who hurt you. Believe it or not, it’s always gonna be ok. That’s just how it works. Sometimes things don’t work out how you want them to, and a lot of times, it seems like they never will. But it’s ok, thats how life is supposed to go. It’s all about learning how to deal with the bumpy parts in the road, and waiting till their smooth again. It’s all about forgiving and forgetting, it’s all about waiting and wishing. That’s just how life is.

Hello Goodbye

2010-07-15T19:23:00.009+08:00

I have decided to move 'house'.
Decided I need a change of home.
A change of heart.
And because Tumblr is cool. Hahaha

www.thatneonsign.tumblr.com

There's actually a reason why I chose this URL for both blogs.
Mainly because of this song :)
Heard it on the radio very long time ago and dint know the lyrics.
But one day, before going to eat at Botak Jones, I heard it on the radio.
Like it found me again :) Means a lot to me. Love the lyrics~

Max Shanti - When I Get There

This may sound crazy
It probably is
But could you tell me where
True love is

Just point me in the right direction
I swear I won't make a sound
I'm looking for a neon sign
It's what I haven't found

They say it's gone south
Where all the good things go
You'll see the flashing lights
And you'll know you'll home

There's no fancy name for it
No one knows who Aphrodite is
It's only rain and rainbows
And the promise of bliss
When I get there, it just is

I believe in love
But it's probably not for me
Romance, the chase,
The attractive enigma
No, it's not me

There's no fancy name for it
No one knows who Aphrodite is
It's only rain and rainbows
And the promise of bliss
When I get there, it just is

All these questions, I've got to ask before I go
If I never find it, will you let me know

There's no fancy name for it
No one knows who Aphrodite is
It's only rain and rainbows
And the promise of bliss
When I get there, it just is

When I get there, it just is

:(

2010-07-14T07:02:00.005+08:00

You asked me not to assume but you're doing the exact same thing.
You're such an ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Used To/ Love Remains The Same

2010-07-14T00:50:00.011+08:00

I couldn't stand the misery and emptiness but I knew I would survive, that it wouldn't kill.
Then after 2 weeks I was happy again because I learnt that everyone around me doesn't deserve to get affected by my negative feelings and that I had to stop thinking only about my feelings, that I needed to care less about myself and more for others :)

Then later things were okay again but then I knew it wouldn't last, soon it'd happen again.
Because, people seem to walk away from me all the time.
So I was prepared, and I was right.

What can I say?
Don't expect too much I guess.. Because if not when things go wrong, you'd fall harder than you thought you would. But right now I've got a cushion below me to break my fall. A cushion of love, happiness and hope for th next day to be a better one :) I know it doesn't make sense but it's okay, it's for me to know... And for you to guess.

Also, talking to Muanting helped me figure out that even if you can't care about some people like you used to, or even if you haven't talked to them for a long time, as long as you have them in your heart, it doesn't matter how long it has been, you never stop caring for them, not once, not twice, not ever. The clock ticks and the distance seems so far away, but nothing changes, everything remains the same.

Random

2010-07-14T00:43:00.003+08:00

Watched the World cup finals :) and didn't sleep but I had an awesome Monday :) Dont know why I was so high but yeah :) Played 1 hour's of Captains Ball during CCA and I must say it was one of the best games I've ever played! Loved the drama and teamwork and all :)

And I also held the cutest and most beautiful cat Ive ever encountered!!!!! I wish I couldve brought It homeee :'( I feel like going back to find it :) hope it's still in schoool yeah? It made my day too :)
OH and my school is celebrating Racial Harmony Day next week but Ive no idea what to wear!!!! So excited I CANT WAIT :) :) :) it's going to be fun I know!!!

Love

2010-07-13T23:55:00.002+08:00

I just talked to Muanting, like heart to heart? Long ago we said we should have one session like that, to bring everyone closer, but we never got around to making it happen. & yeah I decided like I wanted to be there for someone who needs it. And I didnt want to keep any secrets anymore. And I'm glad that we talked :) I'm glad I could brighten her day and make her smile, just like that EZ link card person who made me. I only wished I had done it sooner :)

TAY MUANTING I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I CARE! :D
I'm don't want to be a friend who reads your blog and knows that youre felling crappy but not do anything to make your day better! I know how it feels like, like hoping to know that someone cares about how you feel, about what you write in your blog, because i feel it all the time too? Like hoping someone would respond. You know, like care not in a sense like 'Are you okay' but in the sense that 'Why dont you tell me what's bothering you because I want to share your burden, because I care'. I know you get it :) I'd be here if you need me :)
ANYHOW, DONT STOP SMILING! AND RETARDED IS THE NEW CUTE!
AND DONT LET NO SH*T BRING YOU DOWN! :D

& Teresa, the little things you do, do count, you told me that before I think :) Maybe one day can make breakfast for them or something :) Give them a hug a goodnight kiss.
Just know that I'm here if you need a listening ear okay :)

<3 you all, we got to smile okay?
TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER IF YOU LET IT BE~

Family

2010-07-13T23:45:00.014+08:00

After flea with Teresa on Saturday > Dinner at Spring Court :) <3

Something EVERY guy must know

2010-07-12T03:23:00.001+08:00

Never ever tell a girl
1) that you're talking to her only because you're bored
( what you take her for? )

2) that you are bored (when talking) 3) that she is boring.
( Because it might mean that talking to her is boring )

LIKE SERIOUSLY.

FLEASHLIGHTBATT3 w TERESA! :D

2010-07-12T01:53:00.021+08:00

FLB3 10th JULY!!
Bought like 7 tops+ 1 dress+ 1 High waisted shorts+ 1 Marilyn Monroe bag <3!! + 1 yellow checkered clutch+ 1 pair of pumps and 2 pairs of earrings!! Spent like crazeee but it was worth it and I wish I brought more $$$$$. Love fleas!!
Oh and then to Skatepark to watch cool guyssss at the NYC Extreme competition~~ their moves are awesomeee!

I'm so happy because I lost my ezlink card at DBghaut and only realized it whn I got onto the train, but some kind soul returned it to the control station! :)
Im so grateful and thankful and wish I couldve thanked him/her personally for being so sweeet! I think I thanked the guys at the control station like a million times heh. And was smiling like crazy after that because such people make the world so beautifulll :)
Must remind self to do more good deeds because I'll never know when I can make someone smile like how that someone made me smile :)

LOVED SATURDAY

Mah lootzzzzz :)

CJC Sports Day :)

2010-07-09T23:28:00.007+08:00

Track events first :) then Games event!
Hahaha Teresa, Shannon, Wei hao and I signed up for the Eco Challenge which was actually 'Amazing Race' in Botanic Gardens. Ran around like crazy looking for clues for about 2.5 HOURSSSSSS but it was so fun because Botanic Gardens is kind of beautiful and we took pictures and we lost calories too hehehehe :)

cute old man and old lady :) so sweet :)

Heart shaped leaves!! Teresa, Shannon and I took one pair each and they gave their other half away to uhhum* :):) but I kept both cause I dont have anyone to give to hahaha! It's so pretty anyway :) <3

Things I have fallen in love with #3 : FLEA MARKETSS!

2010-07-09T23:13:00.010+08:00

FLASHLIGHTBATTERY3!

FLEA AND EASY AT ZOUK! ~~ :D

SO EXCITEDDDD :) Am going to FLASHLIGHTBATT3 tomorrow most likely :):) omigosh 350 stalls!!
That's crazy man cant wait cant wait cant wait :)

& I really really want to go to Flea&Easy @ ZOUK but i dont know if cannn :(
Need 1)Money 2)Time and 3)Mummy's permission
HAHAHA I want to see how Zouk looks like O.o :p

seriously have to squeeze in time to do homeworks!
Especially stupid Project workkk :/

blue eyeliner :)

2010-07-09T18:07:00.002+08:00

heart just skipped a beat

2010-07-09T16:31:00.000+08:00

2010-07-09T15:58:00.003+08:00

If you have to try and convince yourself that you dont care about someone, chances are, you probably care about them more than you realize.

Really? Oh no.

:)

2010-07-09T15:40:00.008+08:00

Love going to the Skatepark watching them guys do all the stunts.
like omg it's like they're fearless.
Skateboarding is coooooool :)

2010-07-09T15:22:00.001+08:00

2010-07-09T15:18:00.001+08:00

Live, I wanna live inspired
Die, I wanna die for something higher than myself
Live and die for anyone else
The more I live I see this life's not about me

I want to live, not only exist.

2010-07-08T22:14:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm not strong enough to carry out the promises that I make to myself.
Who am I kidding? I feel so empty all the time.

But I'll try okay i will i will i willlllllll!!!
Because you never know when a smile can brighten someone else's day :)

Listen to this song :)
It's Kissing You by Miranda Cosgrove.
I'm not a great fan of her songs, but this song is just :) for me even if I've never kissed anyone before. HAHAHAHA

2010-07-08T18:21:00.006+08:00

THIS MAKES ME HAPPY :)
green apple flavour so yummy :)
must eat Yami if you're unhappy, then you'll surely be happyy again :)

hmmmmm trying to smile more but I sometimes I just can't :(
how do I start being better person, how do I make people happy, how to smile more, care more, love more? :/
try again tomorrow :) because tmrw is Friday and also games day! Which means no lessons but fun and laughter YEP :)

2010-07-07T00:33:00.003+08:00

I feel so lame and stupid and tired and sleepy.
I feel like some joke for being so silly for feeling this way. Okay whatever tomorrow will be better, I hope. please, thankyou. :)

P.s oh yeah something so embarrassing Omgggg. Was doing gym duty today and I kinda made some lame comment to a cute guy who was signing in.. How lame can I get mannn why did I speak?!??! silly me :/
P.s.s Consolation -I have a tub of Yami Yogurt beside me on my bed now. Hehe :)

goodnight then.

2010-07-06T23:54:00.005+08:00

I knew my reply that day was pretty stupid.

Have you moved on?
I'm beginning to believe that this time, it's for real.

Secondhand Serenade - Half Alive

2010-07-06T23:45:00.008+08:00

'The worst feeling ever isn't being lonely, but being forgotten by someone you can't forget'

School was horrible. Actually I meant my mood. Or both. It's so much easier tricking myself into believing that I'm happy. Sometimes I even believe I am. But at the end of the day, I always wonder how much longer I can hang in there.

Anyway it's a whole new month. And. My goal for this month is to smile more, care more and love more. Yep :) I want to be a better person. I'll try hard.

it's easier making people happy than trying to be happy myself.

Anberlin - Breaking
Sezairi Sezali - Broken
Dashboard Confessional - Broken Hearts and Concrete Floors
The Script - Breakeven
James Morrison Ft Nelly Furtado - Broken Strings

2010-07-05T23:47:00.006+08:00

I dont want to leave this way
All I know
Is broken

I heard your voice break when you said 'well i hope you're happy'

you're wrong.
i'm not.

2010-07-05T23:31:00.003+08:00

Caught IpMan with Brandon, Ron, ZJ and Wilson on Sat :)
loved the show! Actually the actor for this movie aint that bad but Donnie Yen's still cooler :)

Splendours :)

2010-07-05T22:48:00.039+08:00

Had an awesome night :)
<3 you dancers :)

KimFong, Diana, Natalie :)
Dancers :)

Irene :)

Irene :)
Charles, Ms Chong, Pamela, Kartika :)
Jingwen :)
Yuenyern :)
Beatrice :)
Eunice :)
Eunice, Beatrice, Halim :)
Guangrong and Lester :)
Guangrong :)
Lester :)

Please dont start caring about me

2010-07-05T01:30:00.014+08:00

I know it's my fault.. for not knowing what I want, for being selfish.

But it has been a while already, since i dont know.

Eventually and subconsciously, I become emotionally attached to people who are very nice to me and care a lot about me, even if I thought I didnt need them to.

& just now I suddenly realized that sometimes I rather no one cared, because somehow I always end up pushing away or 'losing' the people who do.

Then when they suddenly stop caring about me, I realize that I dont know what to do.
I become so lost and empty again.
I start missing the way they care, even if I dont want to, even if I try not to.

gosh :'(

2010-07-04T22:36:00.008+08:00

August,”

I loved you for as long as I remember, quite literally. I remember you helping me tie my shoes in kindergarten, and how I listened for your name during role call because I was too shy to ask it, how I would pray all through elementary school for you to randomly decide to sit with me at lunch, and when I put up with being enrolled in your mother’s extracurricular art classes just because it meant a chance I might see you again, and when you were the only one in my entire life that protected me from the bullying and the ridicule. You are my hero, and I strive every day to be worthy of the love of someone like you.

You would be 26 now, if you were still alive. You died three years ago, and I never told you of my crush. I still love you to this day. I never so much as told you I liked you.

To everyone who has a crush, I assure you - YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE, AND EVERYTHING TO GAIN. Do not wait one more moment out of fear, anxiety, apprehension, uncertainty, or any other reason to tell someone how you feel. You never know if you’ll have another opportunity.

To August - I would give my life to tell you how much your actions in life meant to me, how much you as a person meant to me, how much you changed and saved my life. I would give my life to know you are at peace wherever you are.

I love you.

— “September”

-crushed.tumblr.com

2010-07-04T15:24:00.000+08:00

Brazil was supposed to win th thing man.

Hi there

2010-07-04T03:41:00.003+08:00

I wanted to tell you that Brazil lost :(

Anyway i cant post today, it's almost 4 am.
But I'm listening to Broken by Sezairi Sezali over and over again.
I dont want to stop listening to it after hearing it during Splendours!

And I know I never told you
That I love you
Now its all too late
And I dont know how to hold you
But I want to
I dont want to leave this way
All I know
Is broken

Crushes #2

2010-07-02T02:03:00.010+08:00

Hahah I like this :)

No, i wouldn’t let you play The Sims that night.
Because if you did, you’d see we’re happily married and have three children.

- Crushes.tumblr.com

I'd continue posting tomorrow. Still have so many things to say.
Meanwhile. There's a song I heard on the radio and it's so awesome~
Another of a song that I can relate to.
It's If you're gone by Matchbox Twenty :)
But i dont think anyone would like it the way I do anyway.

& he said -''I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life''

& I said - ''I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing'' :/ :/

Crushes #1

2010-07-02T01:56:00.004+08:00

I read this from a new tumblr I just discovered called crushes.tumblr.com :)

To the girl at the table near the back of the library -

I almost asked you what was wrong the first time I saw you crying. Then I saw the book you were reading, and realized that you were crying because of it. And I was interested, because I’d never read anything that moved me that much.

I checked out the book you were reading, and guess what? I cried - just a little - too. That’s how it started. Every time I go to the library, you’re almost always there, usually with a completely new book. Sometimes you smile, or laugh out loud, or cry again, and when you do, I check out the book you’re reading.

That was it, really, until I realized how gorgeous you are. You’re not pretty in the normal kind of way, but god, when you smile, it lights up your face in the best way. (omg so sweet)

I wish you’d notice me, sitting a few tables away from you, reading the book you were reading a few days ago. I wish you’d smile at me. I don’t have the guts to talk to you. I’m afraid you won’t be anything at all like I imagine.

One of these days, I’ll work up the courage and I’ll ask you about what you’re reading. And maybe you’ll smile that gorgeous smile and tell me all about it, and then we’ll talk about all the books we’ve read. But until then, thank you for the book recommendations. I love them.

Love, the boy a few tables away from yours

Dreammmm

2010-07-02T01:22:00.004+08:00

Know that this picture has no relation to the post but I love it.

Do you know I really admire people who have dreams and ambitions,regardless of what it is?
Because it means that they have something to live for.
That's why they say that you should never laugh at someone's dreams no matter how small it may seem, because it means the world to them, it's all that they're living for.

Some people I know have dreams to be a doctor, a pilot, a psychologist, have enough kids to form a basketball team, have a simple life, own a nature reserve, find their love of their life (everyone's dream).
I admire all of it.

But the thing is.. I dont have a dream/ambition.
And sometimes I dont know what or why I am living for, but my family keeps me alive.

Rain < 3

2010-07-02T00:47:00.005+08:00

Going to 'spam' posts now. So many things in my head..

Like.. today I played in the rain!!! :D Like seriously (sssh dont tell my mum)! Actually I didnt intend to.. I was just walking back home. Then it started raining REALLY HEAVILY, and FOR ONCE I was anxious about getting wet. Then I realized ''Why in the world! I used to love walking in the rain last time..'' And I just like stoned there for a while thinking about it and got soaked in a few seconds omg! And then I decided to let loose and become crazy, literally.

The feeling is so amazing. You know for the whole week I was so ( Insert negative emotions) and I kept asking myself many questions. But today for that 3 minutes in the rain, I felt happy again, happy for real. Just being me I didnt care if I'd get sick or if I look retarded or if my bag was soaked, I just felt true happiness for that few minutes. Just laughing out loud for no reason in particular and smiling like some idiot, also splashing all the puddles~ I FELT SO D*MN FREAKING ALIVE. I didnt need anything else but the rain :)

I DONT USE UMBRELLAS!

TT P-A-R-T-Y

2010-07-02T00:16:00.007+08:00

Feel like i have not blogged in a long time and i've got so many things in my heart.
Okay so most importantly... EXAMS ARE O-V-E-R! I think if i pass all i'd be happy already.
But somehow, I dont feel like the exams are over. The atmosphere isnt like really party-like.

I think I can be really HIGH if i want to? Like high even on Jolly Shandy alone, or maybe Coke or whatever.
I just need to be with the right people or right person. Crazy people too/ people who I'm comfortable with but right now I cant think of anyone.

Sometimes I really feel like just letting go of myself and go crazy and have fun and all. I think the only times when I was really high was like always after dance? Especially if it was raining. And i remember there was once when Irene and I managed to buy Jolly Shandy from 7-11 and we,(or me) were like laughing the whole way over nothinggg when walking up the hill. Just laughing cause we're happy little girls :)
But now like I feel sooooooo uninteresting! Dont know how to say. :/ But I cant find a reason to be really really happy sometimes..

2010-06-29T00:33:00.006+08:00

I don't know what made you start talking to me again.. With reason or no reason,
Then I am reminded of the times I used to wish you were texting me instead of her, the times I wished you would ask me how my day was, the times I missed your smiley faces.

But now I realize.. I don't even place my phone beside me just to wait for your reply anymore,
I realize I don't even bother to reply as quickly as I used to just so you wouldn't have to wait,
I realize your smileys don't even make me smile anymore,
I realize... I realize.. I realize..
That I stopped missing you a long time ago.
I just didn't know it until now.

you found me

2010-06-28T22:19:00.006+08:00

Have I mentioned how much I love listening to The Fray? Love their songs like You Found Me, How to save a life, Over my head, Never say never, Look after you. <3

Why'd have to wait, where were you, where were you,
Just a little late, you found me, you found me

Why'd have to wait, to find me, to find me....

will they really?

2010-06-28T21:01:00.001+08:00

haha exactly.

2010-06-28T20:42:00.006+08:00

Girls aren’t going to talk to you first. It’s a girl thing.
We don’t like starting the conversation because we like to feel like you want to talk to us.
We like to feel like the wait was worth something. We like feeling like you’ve waited for us like we’ve waited for you.
But the number one reason we hate talking first is because we hate to seem needy or clingy. That’s why we’re scared. Cause to us, being needy and obsessive just pushes guys away. And no girl wants that.

haha this made me smile :)

2010-06-28T20:33:00.004+08:00

You must be a good runner, because you’re always running on my mind.
You must be a great thief, because you’ve stolen my heart.
But I must be a horrible shooter, because I’m always missing you.

2010-06-27T23:27:00.003+08:00

OMG EXACTLYYYYYYYYY.

anyway i'm kind of unprepared for my exams!
cant wait for it to end on Thursday.
And cant wait for SPLENDOURS on Friday! :)
And i think for these few days Starbucks will be like my 2nd home :) :/
GOTTA STUDY HARD!

2010-06-27T21:15:00.006+08:00

Kind of miserable today cos I'm in a lethargic mood. Hence I didnt really have the mood to study :( kind of disappointed with myself for being so useless for lacking self-discipline.
But on a brighter note, somehow I can't wait to go back to school - I really dislike rotting at home :/ and also because I watched What Happens In Vegas again:) [ while slacking] and Cameron Diaz is so beautiful :) OH AND I FOUND MY PREFECT BADGE!!!

Actually I do miss talking to you.
Or maybe I miss having someone who seems to care.
& I can't help checking my phone from time to time though i know there's no text.
Kay I know I'm so stupid and silly.

2010-06-26T22:15:00.003+08:00

2010-06-26T20:30:00.000+08:00

there'll be no more crying in the rain

2010-06-26T02:41:00.007+08:00

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.

It's like realizing that now, just like how it should have been, just like how they've seen you as all along, you start to see someone as a friend only.
No more heartskip no more heartache no more hoping.
Just the pure joy of having a friend.

I think I got it figured out :)
I'm over it, over him.

& Im gonna wait for a kind of love that's true.

2010-06-25T23:40:00.007+08:00

(Guy says sorry) Girl:" I don't want to hear your apology. There must be a solution!" (Guy apologizes again)
Girl:" Just go. Leave. I don't ever want to see you again".
Guy walks away.
Girl:"Dont go, please don't leave, please don't walk away, please turn around"
(Girl cries till next morning)

I just watched the show and I sobbed like some crazy girl. :'( still crying after the show omg my eyes feel puffy and tired now...

i know how it feels like to fake a smile when actually deep down inside your heart is falling apart.
i know how it feels like to sit in the dark and cry till you dont even care if people walk past and give you weird stares.
i know how it feels like to cry just listening to a single song.
i know it feels like to cry and wish there's someone to hold you.
i know how it feels like to cry till your eyes are puffy in the morning.
i know how it feels like to cry yourself to sleep.
i know how it feels like, the feeling where you want to cry out loud, but you just have to bite your lip and cry silently.
I know how it feels like.

But I wish I didn't.
I wish I didn't have to know how it feels like.

2010-06-25T01:06:00.003+08:00

wait for someone who thinks you're worth it :)
because i truly believe that everyone deserves to be loved..

2010-06-25T00:53:00.004+08:00

find something worth holding on to :)

Sometimes I dont get why we hold back so much?
What are we afraid of? But then again, who am I to say? I'm a coward too..
Maybe someday we'll learn to be more spontaneous, to go after what we want without any hesitation. But sometimes that someday might be a little too late? When we 've decided to let go of all our fears, we might have already missed all our chances.

Chase after your dreams,
Call an old friend,
Tell someone you love them.
Because you dont want to regret anything.

Why?

2010-06-24T23:17:00.006+08:00

Was reading my diaries last night.. Smiling and tearing whilst reading everything, it then occurred to me that things which are left unsaid, really do have the ability to break peoples' hearts.

It's the exact feeling of how someone leaves without an explanation or anything, leaving you there waiting for something to happen, for an answer? But no, they don't turn back to tell you why they're walking out of your life, they don't tell you why they stop caring like they used to, they can't even hear you sob as you ask 'why?', because they are already so far away, and then that's when you realize that they're not coming back, and neither will you find the answers to your questions.

And then after a while, maybe a day, 1 week, a few months, you realize that maybe some things are better left unsaid? Or some questions you wouldn't really need the answer to?

Maybe because I'm not worth the answer, or I'm just not meant to know why. Either way, maybe it's a lesson learnt. What could have been, will never be anyway.

2010-06-24T23:14:00.001+08:00

从前从前有个人爱你很久但偏偏风渐渐把距离吹得好远

when there was me and you

2010-06-24T00:38:00.009+08:00

Put my ipod on shuffle and stumbled upon this song. The song I was looking for to describe my feelings. But now I don't need it anymore.

I swore I knew the melody that I heard you singing
And when you smiled you made me feel, like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words, now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's, once upon a song

Now I know you're not a fairytale, and dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star, just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell, that I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the view, when there was me and you

Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you

2010-06-23T01:38:00.001+08:00

These few days I've been asking myself many questions. Likeeee..
What do we live for?
What is love?
What is beauty?
What lasts forever? If forever exists that is.

Sometimes I really don't know..

love my family a lot, :)

2010-06-23T01:19:00.006+08:00

Always here for me, <3

:) WE LOVE CHICK FLICKS! HAHAHA

2010-06-22T23:07:00.019+08:00

beautiful

2010-06-21T03:53:00.008+08:00

Most beautiful picture I've seen for the day..
Wonder if I'll ever be able to dance like that :/

Anyway recently I heard James Blunt's You're Beautiful on the radio..
and it has been sometime since I heard it.
But it was so sweet,whoever he was singing the song to aww :'/
You're beautiful. You're beautiful
You're beautiful, it's true
I saw your face in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
'Cause I'll never be with you

Envy

2010-06-20T23:07:00.008+08:00

I dont get it.
I dont get how some girls are just so beautiful.
Sorry i just cant help feeling inferior and small.

But seriously, they are almost perfect in every way - super nice, sweet, interesting, fun to be with, pretty, slim, smart, fashionable, everything every girl wants to be and everything a guy is looking for.

& what I dont get the most is that they dont seem to know how awesome they are.
Sometimes I feel like I ought to tell them how amazing they are, just so they'd stop feeling insecure too, just like how all girls are, just like how I'm feeling now.

2010-06-20T00:01:00.000+08:00

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth

In the end, everyone leaves.

:/ Theory Of A Deadman - Not Meant To Be

2010-06-19T17:43:00.003+08:00

It's never enough to say I'm sorry
It's never enough to say I care
But I'm caught between what you wanted from me
And knowing that if I give that to you
I might just disappear

Nobody wins when everyone's losing

It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I, I can't change your mind
I know it's like trying to turn around on one way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me

best friend!!

2010-06-19T01:36:00.002+08:00

awesome Friday night :) Saw a lot of random people! :)
shall post more pictures later :)

2010-06-17T21:41:00.003+08:00

Took this a few days ago. So beautiful aint it? <3
I took it sneakily and I wish I could have shown them how beautiful their photo was <3

And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

Maybe I was just another ordinary girl too.

2010-06-16T00:11:00.009+08:00

You're not ordinary.
But I'm moving on because neither can I keep living in self deception nor can I let myself go through all the crap over and over again.

“ It’s funny how when you finally get over someone, you start seeing them in a whole new perspective. It’s like you’re looking at them through the eyes of your best friend, and you realize, he’s nothing special. He’s just another ordinary boy. ”
-idareyoutoclickthis.tumblr.com

Or maybe you start seeing that everything which you once thought he was, he isnt anymore.

secret.

2010-06-14T22:36:00.001+08:00

HI SOMETIMES I HATE MYSELF.
stupid me.

Fading away

2010-06-14T00:30:00.012+08:00

I try searching for the you who used to care.
But somehow I just seem to cant find it anymore. :/
And I dont know how to feel or what to do
But I know I have to get used to it and stop running away from the truth.

'Sometimes it’s hard looking at you. It hurts to see who you’ve become, and how far we’ve drifted apart. And it’s sad that everything have to be left as just a memory.' - Narida

This post is specially dedicated to...

2010-06-13T01:31:00.010+08:00

okay I know Janet Jie and Li Hao probably wouldnt read this.. But I just felt like posting it. It's their 5th year anniversary next month :) I cant believe it has been this long, and it's like he is already one of us :)

& Today I asked Jie - how do you stay in love for so long? And she was like- 'It all depends on the way you view relationships. Of course you do not go into one with a mindset that it would end someday and neither do you go into one just for fun. You date to marry.'
I have never really thought about it till so far, the 'date to marry' part. And at that moment i was like, :'( so touched! Hahaha okay I'm not being dramatic, okay maybe a little. But as in, their relationship gives me a reason to believe in love <3

P/S He is her first boyfriend :) :)

Asher Book - Try

2010-06-13T01:22:00.005+08:00

This song is so sweet it makes my heart melt but somehow it's sad at the same time?

If I walk would you run
If I stop would you come
If I say you’re the one would you believe me
If I ask you to stay would you show me the way
Tell me what to say so you don’t leave me
The world is catching up to you
while your running away to chase your dream

Training to be photogenic. HAHA!

2010-06-13T01:13:00.009+08:00

I like the first picture the most. Because that sort of portrays the real me.
Dont know how to explain but ya.

2010-06-13T00:44:00.003+08:00

Was playing around with the templates and I like this design a lot! So cute :)
Anyway I dont know why I've a sudden obsession with rings. :)
So pretty~ The first 2 are GUITARPICKS, SO CUTE RIGHT!
i have a secret obsession with people who can play the bass guitar haha :B

FLEAFLYFLOFUN @HOMECLUB! :D yayyyyy~

2010-06-13T00:02:00.018+08:00

time + life = :( ?

2010-06-10T22:11:00.016+08:00

Feeling better now despite the freakingstupid lizard incident just now :(

I dont know what happened anyway, what went wrong, or when it started falling apart.
I only know who were the ones who walked away first and who were the ones who held on, but like me, became too tired of holding on to something which was slowly disintegrating and losing its meaning.

But that's life isn't it?
Things change people change.
But time does not stop for anything or anyone
& neither does anyone give a damn about the crap you're feeling.
JUST HAVE TO SUCK IT UP AND GET ON WITH LIFE.
Kay I sound quite crude but whatever. I am angry okay? Angry at people who walk into my life, become people who i care about, and then walk out again. But mostly angry at myself for being so NAIVE. oh well oh well oh well.

What to do to cheer up
1st step - Eat orange flavoured Yami Yogurt ( now :] )
2nd step - Sleep early ( soon! )
3rd step - Wake up early to study ( Tomorrow )
4th step - Feel accomplished and thus very happy :)

2010-06-10T22:06:00.001+08:00

David Cook - Come Back To Me

2010-06-10T17:33:00.010+08:00

P/S the lyrics below is not for the song Come Back To Me. It's just that the song was playing at that exact moment I was feeling this.. But this song's
[ Jordin Sparks - Was I The Only One] lyrics describes it.

I freaking hate time. Why does it have to change things, change people and change things between people? Time led me to slowly think that I could live without something, that I didn't need it, that all it brought to me was unhappiness. It was healing me but at the same moment also bringing me to another form of misery.

And just now as much as I bit my lip, covered my ears, closed my eyes, I could not stop the memories from flooding my mind. & then I realized how much I have been deceiving myself, I realized how much I actually truly miss everything.

But after that, I remembered how much things have changed, and how it could never return to the way it was before, and that feeling is enough to make me fall to pieces again.

@ T3

2010-06-10T00:36:00.017+08:00

Sorry I couldnt resist the temptation of taking photos in front of such a pretty full length mirror haha!

Went to T3's Crowne Plaza today for dinner at Imperial Treasure :) Actually I was sort of reluctant to go, was in a lazy mood, but luckily I went, because Chinese food is soooo yummy :)

2010-06-10T00:02:00.004+08:00

I've been listening to the radio for the whole day.. But I still couldnt find a song to describe my feelings. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!! uh nothing!!!
hahaha anyway, maybe Rain by Creed? But then again, not really.
I cant even find a song to comfort myself.
How pathetic.

2010-06-09T13:24:00.003+08:00

A song describing your feelings now?

The song

2010-06-09T12:41:00.010+08:00

I didnt mean for things to become like that, but you dont understand.
Reading the lyrics of that song made me feel so,messed up inside.
It isn't easy for me too.
Then again, I guess you dont know.

I love this picture....

2010-06-09T12:36:00.001+08:00

It's raining really heavily outside now..
& i'm all alone at home :(
I'm tempted to run out and dance in the rain~

Or not knowing how to feel after.

2010-06-09T02:21:00.001+08:00

:)

2010-06-09T02:08:00.007+08:00

I do this all the time, falling asleep waiting for others to reply.. or at least I used to. But isn't it sweet knowing that the other person stays up to text you till the minute they fall asleep because they cant bear to say goodnight?

:'( so sweet

2010-06-09T02:06:00.003+08:00

A quote from Derek

''Do you know that feeling
when at any moment
when you're not with the person you want to be with the most?''

Robin Hood :)

2010-06-09T00:57:00.009+08:00

Sooo i watched Robin Hood today! It was a little difficult to understand at the first part but overall it was a good show :) And Russell Crowe is really charming :) Hahahahaha

" Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions"

I like his white horse! so pretty :)

AHH I used to watch the cartoon all the time!! Maybe I should search for the disc :) These photos brings back old memories!~~

No, not amazing at allllll

2010-06-08T00:16:00.001+08:00

Amazing how life turns out,
the way that it does,
we end up hurting the worst,
the only ones we've really loved

so adorable~

2010-06-07T19:31:00.004+08:00

Lady and the Tramp~ I used to watch this cartoon over and over again :)
Maybe next time I'll get a dog, probably a terrier or a maltese? :)
But i'm quite scared to take care of them because they're so small and they look so fragile! But just looking at these pictures can make me smile at the computer screen like some crazy girl hahaha :p

so beautiful~~~~

2010-06-07T19:23:00.001+08:00

Miserable Monday

2010-06-07T18:39:00.006+08:00

Spent my whole monday 'running errands' in Orchard. how fun. :/
My handphone died on me again :( sent it for repair and then going to trade it in and bla bla bla. But then I was thinking maybe I can live without a phone.
Not like there's a difference.
Just that it seems like everything's dying on me. Including my headphones :( sigh oh sigh

Hiding behind the walls

2010-06-07T02:53:00.001+08:00

Memories have left me broken
And the scars have never healed
The emptiness in me is growing
But so little left to fill

I'm scared to look back on the days before
I'm too tired to move on

cranky

2010-06-07T02:42:00.006+08:00

MY PHONE IS WORKING AGAIN! I cant believe it, why does it like to play tricks on me? Oh well whatever. I deleted my messages already anyway, nothing I can do about it..

Was surfing this tumblrblog www.idareyoutoclickthis.tumblr.com and i love the posts there~ :'(

“ I had a girlfriend once, and I wanted to give her a photo of my heart. Like a x-ray of my heart. So I went to my doctor and complained about pains in my chest and stuff like that. He listened to me and looked at me and said, “There’s nothing wrong with you”. So I told him about my plan, and he liked it, so he sent me to the hospital and got an x-ray, after some blood tests. ''
- Pete Wentz

i love my family

2010-06-07T01:33:00.021+08:00

Sayyyy.. do you take Sunday or Monday as the first day of the week?
Usually I take it as Monday but theoretically it's supposed to be Sunday right? Because I had a nice Sunday and I'm hoping it's going to be a better week ahead.

Letting go

2010-06-06T18:35:00.004+08:00

Today for some reason, my phone's button number 2 and 3 couldnt work..
And for some other reason, I deleted all the messages in my phone- inbox and sent.
I used to be so reluctant to do so because I'm a girl who likes reading previous messages :) But I sort of realised that those were just words, and furthermore, if it really mattered to me, those words would be kept close to my heart no matter what.
So yeah.

Well but I admit that I did save some really precious texts.

Some destinies are interconnected through the sands of time;

2010-06-06T02:50:00.006+08:00

Highlight of my very miserable week - Watching Prince of Persia :)

However, I couldn't find the picture with the part he was holding onto her hand, and she asked him to let go but he wouldn't.
And she said, '' I really wished that we could be together''.
Then she let go :'( But of course there was a happy ending, movies.

Dastan - We make our own destiny

Look for the girl with the broken smile;

2010-06-06T02:49:00.002+08:00

I didn't know it would be so difficult..

Dramatic Dream

2010-06-05T16:01:00.019+08:00

Had a few dreams last night.. But I can only recall one part.

I remember.... I was at a party, my party maybe?
Then I tried to walk pass your friends, hoping they wouldn't notice me.
But then K said sarcastically, '' You dont need to try to apologize for breaking his heart''.

And then I turned, and saw you.

Midnight Hour - Running Away

2010-06-05T02:17:00.013+08:00

6829) It wasn't supposed to be this way.

I have the urge to
- Delete this blog ( so I wouldn't keep wanting to post )
- Delete my Facebook
- Delete my Twitter ( so I wouldn't keep realizing that all my sent messages are only to Twitter )
- Never ever go onto MSN ever again - haven't done that in a while anyway
( because no one's going to talk to me and even if there is someone it wouldn't be someone who i have anything to talk to )
- Throw my handphone against the wall or hide it in my cupboard
( so i wouldn't keep checking it knowing that there are no texts + would not keep texting Twitter )

or simply just run away with none of the above,
run to somewhere beautiful.
I. C A N T. T A K E .IT.
this misery is killing me :( :( :(

I heard this song while watching Ghost Whisperer
[I like CSI!!!, The Mentalist, Fringe, Knight Rider, Supernatural too :) ]
I love this song but it's hm a really sad song.
Don't lie and say that it's OK.
It's alright if there's nothing more to say.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

miss miss misss

2010-06-05T02:12:00.007+08:00

Just talked a little to Edwin..
i miss him and them so much~~

Emptiness

2010-06-04T21:25:00.006+08:00

I dont know how to fix it, how to get rid of this empty feeling.
I keep feeling like something's missing in my life but I dont know what it is.
A purpose, a goal, my passion, some people, someone?

I tried to figure out, I can't understand...
What it means, to be whole again

2010-06-04T20:54:00.003+08:00

I went to run at TPY stadium just nowwwwwww. Supposed to feel fitter right but i feel so unfit cause my stamina so lousy gahhh hahahahaa.
I dont know, just felt like i needed to run.
So was i running away from everything or running towards what I want?

Creed - Rain

2010-06-04T16:19:00.010+08:00

Today i went to BukitTimahhhhhhhhhhh near Raffles Girls' Primary MYOLDSCHOOL~ it has been a while since I went there.
Felt weird because I realized how quickly time flies..

Can you help me out? Can you lend me a hand?
It's safe to say that I'm stuck again

Trapped between this life and the light
I just can't figure out
How to make it right

A thousand times before
I've wondered if there's something more
Something more...

I feel it's gonna rain like this for days
So let it rain down and wash everything away
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine
With every tomorrow comes another life

Everything was so great.

2010-06-04T01:09:00.005+08:00

Somehow, it all disappeared. It is either because the people I cared about or cared for me, slowly drifted away one by one, or because i pushed them away, letting them go.

It is sad that it takes losing the best of us to see where we've gone wrong. And sometimes you never realize how much you care about someone until they stop caring about you.

Exactly.

2010-06-04T00:08:00.003+08:00

From Jae's formspring
''Q: Do you believe in true love?

A: For now, I don't believe in true love. But I believe in true happiness, because I see the smiles and hear the laughter of my loved ones whenever I am with them (:''

hearts please dont break :'(

2010-06-03T23:05:00.007+08:00

& I'm reading sgsecrets.tumblr and it's so sad because I'm just reading stories of others' lives and I realized that most of the secrets are sad and about broken hearts, or how they wish someone loved them or that they were beautiful, or about how they wished they told someone how much he/she meant to them. And it's really funny because I find myself feeling sad reading these posts, but somehow... i can sort of put myself in their shoes.

6365) You said goodbye? I havent seen the good in it yet

6345) I wish we didnt have to end this way, I'm missing you so bad :(

6319) Guys are pretty much the same. When they get bored of a girl or found someone prettier, they will ignore you. -> I wonder if it's a guy who posted this, or a girl with a broken heart.

So far this is the saddest ( is there such a word?) one that I've read. Like it's been written really deep down from the heart.
6255) If you think I'm irritating you, just tell me. Stop keeping me waiting, stupidly waiting for your message, checking my phone every 5 minutes.. Do you know how much it hurts when i message you, wait for your reply for hours, come home and see you online and secretly hoping that you would send me a message saying that your phone low battery of spoiled so you didnt reply? I think I shouldnt message you or msn you anymore..until you start the conversation first. But until now, writing this secret,I'm still checking on my phone, waiting. Why am I so dumb why do i love you.

Maybe i should go post a happy secret to cheer everyone up, but i dont think i have one, and it's funny because I'm one who needs cheering up too.

I'm alive but i'm barely living

2010-06-03T22:51:00.003+08:00

From MT's blog - ''I'm so bored these days. So bored I even find it boring when I have people to talk to. So bored, I don't even want to talk. Thats how serious it is.''

Exactlyyyyyyyyyy.
My life is BORING and I'm a boring person.
I got nothing to talk about.
Even if I want to talk about what's bugging me, it's no use at all.
No one can understand because I dont even understand it myself.